Episode 117 - You just do (not) get over something like that

Intro
Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about the statement “you just don’t get over something like that” - as I keep running into it and which causes so much harm and can lead to the worst outcomes. It is a topic very close to my heart and connected to this podcast.
Therefore it is important we take some time and question this statement - which is long overdue. So let us talk about it.

Prelude
As many know I started this podcast to show others that there is a way to be cured - to leave the house that is on fire - to use the metaphor I used. And that was all it was once supposed to be - showing there is a way out and that is that.
Because the thing that almost killed me - and I didn’t dare to refute - was this very statement. It is impossible, it is too big and so you don’t even need to bother trying. And I didn’t. How could I? Everyone said it can’t be done.
At least not until I was weeks away from certain death that I- in complete desperation - just flung something at this big end time like monster and it somehow struck something and caused it to back off. Which I honestly didn’t expect.
It was one of these acts of desperation you see in comics or so, where the clearly underpowered side character strikes at the big baddie and gets just squadded aside afterwards. Just that it worked. Much to my utter shock and surprise.
With that a long journey started, but that was the crucial first step - that made the journey even possible in the first place.
First we talk about how we reach this sentiment, where it can lead to and then what can help.

How we reach this sentiment
I just want to preface, that I completely and absolutely understand why people think that. I did - as mentioned - believed it strongly myself. How could you not? What happened is so big, so dark, indescribable and unlike anything before.
How can anyone believe they are a match for that? Nothing you seem to do works against it. How often do you have to try to open a locked door until you stop trying? It is the logical thing and in some way it is insane to even try so often to open it.
Like I said in earlier podcasts, it is like the enemy is hiding in the shadows, untouchable and striking again and again to bring you to your knees. It is the absolute logical and human thing to see this is going nowhere. And to stop wasting energy.
Especially since our energy becomes are more and more precious resource the longer PTSD lasts.

Where can it lead to?
Now if that wasn’t bad enough - the attacks out of nowhere and the feeling of defenseless and so on - but it can lead to much worse. There is a good reason we fight against such instances, we are aware of the importance and the danger that comes with it.
First of all, there is the depression. Feeling like you can’t do anything - really can lead to depression or the like. If there is no way avoiding what will happen,why not give up and just surrender? Depression is the way of nature to respond to that.
But for me the worst part is definitely, that it makes getting healed or cured basically impossible. If you declare the trauma untouchable - how are you supposed to work on it? And the trauma just grows with time - even with the best help.
People cope for a while, but the pile gets bigger and bigger until there is no space left. Believing this sentiment is giving up. As much it is understandable - the harmful effects remain.

What can help?
So what can be done? Are you supposed to ram the door until it opens? No, that would be indeed a futile attempt. Your impressions on that end were correct. This is unlike anything you ever encounter. Likely that there aren’t even words to describe what happened.
Nothing compares to it. That is accurate - and also means we have to use a different strategy to deal with it. A different approach and mindset are required. For the trick is… there is a door - it is just hidden.
While before you could just see the door and knew where to go and what you had to do. Now you need to check all the walls and see if anything gives in and careful see if any of them aren’t as solid as the other. And keep doing this until you made a path yourself.
As this time the brain doesn’t have a premade strategy or path available for you. You have to shape it yourself. And for a beginner that means, that if you can’t target the trauma head on - try to look around for things that accompany it.
For example: The feeling of dread you felt - focus on it and learn to process it. What else can you plug away from this big bad thing? What side things, emotions can you plug away from it and take care of? Bit by bit, step by step - this is the way.
This can be a whole episode on its own if you want it to be.But for now all that is important is, that it can be done and that there is a way.

Outro
That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful. Hope you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at contactme@johannadraconis.com.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/podcast/ and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.

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The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD ~ Episode 117 - You just do (not) get over something like that
Ep117 - You just do (not) get over somet
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