Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about the phases of the recovery wave - as how we recover from a trigger, trauma and the like. I mentioned it last week, so it might be a good opportunity to pick up where we left of.
Unlike the healing wave, this recovery wave is something bad. Not the recovery of course, but it means you were hit by something and that it shouldn’t have happened.
For whatever reason, be it you went to far, you were triggered or traumatized or the like. But I think it is important to understand why it differentiates and why what happens. So let us talk about it.
The recovery wave, unlike the healing wave, is a reaction to being hurt or harmed in any way or shape during your healing progress. Which usually happens in a bad time for you.
The time and extent of this recovery is of course depending on what hit you. It can take hours to months to more… if you were severely traumatized again. But usually it takes hours to weeks.
Unlike during the healing wave, we don’t have a summer - if we pick up our example from last week. Which means we also don’t open boxes, we just put something back where it was and lose energy.
It is like going to Alaska and measure the season by European and most of US standards. That means we have Autumn or Fall, a very long Winter and a bit of Spring.
Because the body didn’t plan on doing anything it couldn’t gather enough energy, prepare and so on, which is why we don’t have a summer.
That also means the whole process is worse than the healing version of it, as the body can’t soften the blow and is ill prepared to deal with it all.
We start with our fall, as we decline more and more. It depends on the sort of impact we had, if it is a slow fall or a rapid descent. Also how far we fall depends on that… but also how quick we were able to catch ourselves.
The better our state the better we are at catching ourselves. Usually, the better our state overall, the better we are and the easier it is. Similar to the healing wave - you will notice your symptoms getting worse.
From side effects to the main symptoms. It might once again take a while to figure out WHY you are falling. The sooner you figure it out, the sooner you can stop the fall - if you know how - and start the recovery process.
Season wise we are in Autumn or Fall in our example.
Then comes the long time at the bottom. You are fighting an uphill battle on multiple fronts.
First, you will most likely be in a weakened state to begin with.
Second, you will most likely have barely any energy to do anything.
Third, you will have only limited information on what you are up against - as this is new - unlike the old things you have stored away. This makes it harder to aim.
Fourth, the lack of information makes it also harder for you to correctly plan your energy spending. As you don’t know how small or big your opponent is and what you all need.
All in all you are fighting against a vicious circle and need to push it back and turn it into the opposite. It is exhausting, unrewarding, frustrating and a lot of work.
Take a breather wherever you can. This is truly a marathon and sadly rushing doesn’t really help. It takes really long, as you can barely move at all. If you are able to get some help, I strongly encourage you to get it.
Accepting help is not something bad. Otherwise I recommend treading very carefully and accepting the situation as much as you can. Season wise we are of course in Winter.
After that comes the breaking free. There isn’t really a rise like in the healing wave. Depending on how long the winter was, you will be in the end lower than you were before entering this. Maybe even much lower.
It is more a feeling of being able to breathe again and having survived a storm. Still this is a victory and a success. This is incredible hard to archive and a huge load of work is needed for that.
It is difficult to feel good after spending this huge fight to just come back to a worse status quo, but it shows you are able and willing to pick yourself up after being put on the mat.
Kudos to you - it is a good reason to be proud. And we end the seasons with spring once again.
That was it for todays episode. This was definitely an interesting week. I hope you all are staying safe and protecting yourself. From the virus and from PTSD.
As usual, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/Podcast, information regarding therapy you can find under johannadraconis.com/Therapy and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time!