Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast. I hope my voice sounds alright, still recovering at the moment, but I hope it is all alright.
In this episode we will talk about the very frustrating and hurtful question “Why am I getting so much backlash?” This question is about all the backlash and the stones in your path you are getting for it.
Which seems quite counter intuitive, as you are doing it to improve yourself. Which your surrounding should be all in favor for - yet somehow you get backlash.
We are trying to find some answers to it, with some explanations to this frustrating experience. So let us talk about it.
You would think that you getting better would also be reflected accordingly by your surrounding. But it doesn’t matter if you loose a lot of weight or do a makeover or anything really that significantly changes who you are.
You will suddenly get backlash from sides you might never thought possible. Sometimes it is even from people who are in your own shoes or where you were just a while ago.
That might be rejection on their part, so they don’t have to ask themselves why you can do it, but not them. But that doesn’t explain why it comes from people, who have no stake in what you are changing.
On contrary they most likely benefit from your improvement, yet there is backlash. This seems completely counter intuitive - until you understand how we work as social beings. It doesn’t seem to make any sense.
But just because it appears that way doesn’t mean we can’t give an explanation for it. So first I will give an explanation why your surrounding respond this way and then the society as a whole.
Surrounding / Social circle
The most frustrating backlash is surely from your own surrounding or social circle. Of course we are not talking about anyone willfully wanting to harm your healing journey, but they can be incredible frustrating.
Most likely they are doing it subconsciously. We have a certain role in our social circle, workplace and the like. To keep the group working we all need to stick to our roles or who we are for the group.
As soon someone changes - it changes the whole dynamic of the group. It depends of course how much you deviate from your earlier version for this group. Despite great changes for yourself - it can mean nothing to the group.
It completely depends on which way you change. But if you change significantly to the group, that means the group dynamic has to change - either by rearranging around the new role or rearranging with you missing.
This change usually feels threatening and uncomfortable for the other members, therefor they try to push you back to your old role. This of course also applies to family dynamics - even if the family is neutral to the topic.
But as we have established in episodes before: Our brain HATES changes, even if the change is good. Therefor you will be fought for it. Even if that pushes you back to an unhealthy place for you.
The backlash from society is to some part the same one as the one before. Most of the times, when the victims speaks out against common held truths and believes. For the same reason basically as mentioned before.
As soon as you change the status quo or someone feels like you could, you will automatically receive backlash. That is also the reason why any movement in the past had to struggle so much to significantly change something.
All because our brains hate change so much and see it as a threat to our survival. There is sadly another effect taking place: You are now swimming against the tide.
Life in society is generally a LOT easier if you can just go with the flow. That is no longer happening when you are severely affected by any illness really. This means you are now off the beaten path.
This mean you automatically face more resistance… even more if society doesn’t really want you get help in your current position. You belong now to the group of the outsiders… even if you are in midst of society.
Like the handicapped and similar groups. But rest assured, as soon as you return to the flow of everything - it will be all forgotten and you can go with the flow again as before.
That was it for todays episode, I hope you enjoyed it. Hope you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/Podcast, information regarding therapy you can find under johannadraconis.com/Therapy and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.