Episode 77 - Why is it so hard at the beginning?

Intro
Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk briefly about the hardest part of the healing journey - the beginning. The phase were we decide to finally face the illness and work against it.
That can be quite frustrating at times - so let us talk about it.

Prelude
Taking the first step is truly the hardest. Especially if that step seems to land nowhere. Did you make the first step? Or did you just move without getting anywhere? Or did you not move at all?
The confusion and lack of evidence is really unhelpful. But that is part of the course - the confusion, the lack of direction, the misguidance, false way points and the like. PTSD is GREAT at sabotage.
Though the first step in reality is recognizing it. The best sabotage can be achieved by being undiscovered - therefor PTSD doesn’t want to be discovered or you doing anything.
So addressing and aiming to get better are already the next steps - the first one is exposing and recognizing this little saboteur. Therefor automatically limiting its effectiveness. Not making it go away, but it is a good start.

The uphill battle
There are many reason why for you the fight is so hard in the beginning, be it that the PTSD structures support one another and make it harder to penetrate or that you have less energy, because of the PTSD occupation or the like.
Also you don’t really know what to do. Of course you don’t - how could you? This is one of the things you learn with experience and doing it. The knowledge how to fight it, is usually not taught.
So you have barely any weapons or armor, exhausted and with almost no support - and you are up against a well supported and guarded and strongly armored enemy with horrendous weapons.
OF COURSE you’re having trouble fighting it. Why wouldn’t you? It is a sign of tremendous strength to rise up and fight it. It might not feel this way - especially after taking another hit - but it truly is a feat of strength.
But as crazy as it sounds given the description in the earlier sentence - that fight isn’t even remotely hopeless. On contrary - you are likely going to win. There is a way. For everyone it is a different one, but there is one.
So Kudos to you - for picking up the fight and facing it. The other good news is - that it gets easier, because it is a skill and the better you get at it - the faster and easier you can resolve any PTSD. Including future ones.
This way your viscous circle becomes a virtuous one. And that is where we trying to get to.

Outro
That was it for todays episode - a bit late and short, but that just sometimes how it is. Especially with me still coughing this much. I hope you are staying safe and well.
And as usual, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at contactme@johannadraconis.com.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/Podcast, information regarding therapy you can find under johannadraconis.com/Therapy and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.