Hello my dears! My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
In this episode we will talk about something most of us go through when they start uncovering the trauma and what it is connected with, the truth we once believe crumbles and in worst case we are only left with rubble.
This is one of the most bitter and harshest truth, but how do we go from there? Even if it just an aspect of your life that needs to change, it is good to know in what direction to head. So let us talk about it.
We talked last week how cognitive dissonance lets us cling to believes and truths - despite evidence to the contrary. Even if that evidence is right in front of us. Sometimes that is a safety measure of our brain.
If we are unable to accept the truth - as it would completely destroy us. Which is one of the reasons we suddenly go down after we get a firm hold of our life - our brain breaks down those false truths.
But now the curtain has fallen and the truth is laid bare before us and we feel our world crumble - be it a small part or the whole thing or everything in between. What do we do now? What CAN we do?
For one, we can use the logic ladder I talked about last week, which can be of course also used to help other people. This is usually the path if only part of your world collapses and you need to readjust more.
If the whole world collapses and nothing is left - more from ground up methods are needed and of course it takes longer to do. We touch on that with the rubble clearing.
Logic ladder - a way above the abyss
When a part of your world dies - or the truth you once hold dear crumbles - or however you want to frame it - you will most likely see a big difference between where you are and where you most likely should be.
A logic ladder creates a sort of bridge - like they are used in the climb of the mount everest.
First step is fully understanding your position - with all it faults and strengths. That takes some honest introspection.
The second step is to improve the position just by a little bit.
The next steps are basically the repetition of the step until you reach a better position. The jumps in logic should never be too big and easy to follow. It is a lot of just rinse and repeat. Step by step. Just keep moving. You get there.
Final step is to inspect the new position. Explore it fully and make sure it is accurate, truthful and in line with who you are. Often there are still some adjustments needed to be made, but that is normal.
One simple example would be trying new food. “I know you don’t like fish because it has such a weird texture, but like there are different meat textures - so are different ones for fish. Some are even exactly like meat.
So why don’t you try some fish like salmon?” It is similar to the method like talking yourself into doing something. For example “I know I don’t feel like walking today, but if I walk until the tree I at least did SOMETHING.
Now that I am at the tree, I might just go until the bench… it isn’t that farer and I done better. Now that I am at the bench I might go until…” and so on and so forth. Similar and also quite useful.
Rubble clearing - Keep what still has value
Seeing your world end is a horrible feeling, but also a necessary step for clearing the board and rebuilding on a solid foundation. This time we look at real life examples of people having to rebuild from debris.
You check piece by piece to see if there are pieces that can still be used. Usually it isn’t a 100% fallout. There are often pieces that hold value despite their origin. Sometimes they just have to be re framed but they still hold truth.
Quite like the honest inspection used with the ladder. But unlike the ladder we are now on shaky grounds and very vulnerable - which is why it is wise to tread carefully, move slowly and don’t look for fast/easy answers.
It is important to double check every piece of the new foundation you put in place. For the new pieces you might be able to find them faster by using the false one as point of orientation.
But don’t go into the complete opposite - that is just a recipe for disaster. Rarely the complete opposite of where you originally were is the right place to go. It might be also wise to see what foundation others have.
Either way, it takes a lot of time and effort to put the pieces into place. Just like everything else is, which is supposed to last. Which is why we do it this way.
That was it for todays episode, I hope you found it helpful. Hope you are safe and well. And as always, if you have any questions or feedback and the like, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
More information and transcript you can find as usually under johannadraconis.com/Podcast, information regarding therapy you can find under johannadraconis.com/Therapy and links are in the description.
I hope to see you next time. Watch yourselves and have a wonderful time.